Who's Complaining?

There was another segment on the evening news last week about the minister who started the complaint free movement in his town. The idea seems to be catching on and lots of people are wearing the bracelets to remind them not to complain. I'm still working on it, but I've yet to go a whole 21 days without a single complaint. It was exactly 21 days ago that I started the experiment myself. But it took the minister over 3 months to be able to do it himself, so I don't feel so bad that I can't seem to go a day without a complaint. Actually, I've probably made it at least a couple of days at a time. It's just that those old habits tend to creep in again and I find myself saying something I shouldn't.

One reason I had trouble this week is because my sister came for an overnight visit to my family--she lives a few states away--and she saw all my other sisters and our mother but not me. One of my sisters had a dinner gathering at her house on Saturday night and did not extend the invitation to me and my husband and kids. We live 6 miles from her house. My out of state sister called me last night after she got back home to apologize for not seeing me, but Eileen (who organized the get together) refused to have us over because there weren't enough chairs. I started to think, "what a bitch." But I didn't say it. It's not the first time she's done something like that. And certainly not the first time someone has used those words to describe her. It's her problem not mine. Though I certainly would have liked to have been included, I refuse to be filled with bitterness and resentment. My husband said we should not invite her to our daughter's birthday party this summer and at first I agreed, but I decided to rise above it. I don't appreciate being excluded and wouldn't do that to someone else even after they did it to me. There is no need for revenge. I forgive my sister even though she hasn't apologized (and probably won't.) She is who she is and I can't change her. I actually feel sorry for her because she puts things such as having enough chairs ahead of family. And I'm not going to second guess her reasons for doing what she does. I don't know what it's like to be her. Another thing for me to be grateful for. So I with-hold judgment--which is a major step for me. Like anything though, once you do it a few times, it gets easier. Eventually, it becomes second nature.

In that news segment they also interviewed a psychotherapist who disagreed with the whole idea of not complaining because some people need to vent. I used to think I did too but I recently read that "venting" only reinforces those negative feelings. And I agree. Otherwise, why wouldn't people get better after a few talk therapy sessions instead of going for years with little or no results in many cases. Imagine if you brought your car in for an engine problem and the mechanic told you that it would take years to fix it. Now I'm not comparing the human brain to a car engine, but it shouldn't take so long to fix problems of any kind. That's why I'm such a big fan of EFT and TAT because they're brief and effective and can be learned by anyone as self-help tools. And I can credit them both for helping me deal with past family resentments and to successfully move on from pain to gain--so to speak.

So, I will try again to go a whole 3 weeks without complaining. It's becoming a habit to stop myself in mid-complaint, so I know I'm well on my way.

Until next time, be prepared for success.

A New Way of Seeing a Situation

My quest for going 21 days without a complaint has been derailed numerous times since I set out on my brave journey a couple of weeks ago. The most recent setback was due to a note I got from my son's preschool teacher last week. It seems the fruit and cereal bars I've been sending in for his snack for the last several months have trace amounts of some kind of soy product which is in the nut family and there is a student in my son's class with a nut allergy. My first reaction was, "Come on, you've got to be kidding me." That was pretty much the same response offered by my husband.

You see, my son has "sensory issues" and is extremely picky about food. He only tolerates certain textures and tastes. He receives special education for Occupational Therapy, Physical Therapy and Speech Therapy. It took us months to find a snack that he will actually eat. We were so pleased (as was his teacher) to have him happily devour something at snack time instead of picking at it and throwing it out. So I wondered who complained and took the time to read all the ingredients on my son's cereal bar. I thought, why can't the kid with the allergy eat in a separate room if he's that sensitive? Why make all the other kids suffer and force parents to be diligently reading all the ingredients on every box of food and trying to figure out what could cause an allergic reaction in someone else's kid?

I knew this was not the energy I wanted to be sending out to the universe, but I was so upset about my own situation, I didn't see it through the other parents' eyes. It must be difficult worrying about your child coming into contact with something that could be lethal to him. I figured I was lucky that my son was just "picky" and doesn't have any food allergies. In fact, I'm grateful that one of his favorite foods is peanut-butter. I can't imagine life without it, myself. The point is, once I stopped and looked at the problem in a different way, I went from outrage to gratitude.

My son is on vacation this week, so I still don't know what kind of snack will replace his beloved fruit and cereal bars, but I'm grateful that I don't have to worry about him dying from something he eats. And next year he starts kindergarten in a nut friendly class--yay! PB&J's, here we come.

I found compassion and changed my attitude--and energy! And since I was successful here, I know I can continue to look at any problem in a different way and find solutions easily. There really is always something to be grateful for if you just open your eyes and look.

Until next time, be prepared for the best!

Can You Do It?

While tuning in to CBS Sunday Morning on Easter Sunday, I noticed an interesting story about a small town where a church pastor was giving out bracelets to remind people not to complain. The objective is to go at least 21 days without a single complaint. Well, most people thought it was impossible and and there weren't many success stories yet, but I think it's a great concept. As a law of attraction follower and practitioner, I really need to stop all complaining because I know it sends out the wrong kind of energy signal. As someone on another forum so eloquently put it once, complainers are crap magnets. Or something to that effect. Just think of the negativity that fills your whole being while in the act of complaining. Not what most of us are after.

I thought since this is the first day of a new month, I would start the day trying to go without complaining. And I've got to say, it's much easier said than done. I've already had to stop and restart a couple of times. And it's only been one day! How many of you think you can do it? Can you go a whole 21 days without a complaint? Good luck and wish me the same.

Until next time, be prepared for the best!